"Survivor 45" Premiere Episode Recap - An Unprecedented First Tribal!
This shocking event has never happened before in the show's 45-season history
Welcome to my new home on Substack! Every Wednesday after the “Survivor” episode airs you’ll be able to find a full recap along with individual player grades right here. The next day I’ll have an exit interview with the latest castaway on my YouTube Channel. And…get this…every Monday I’ll be squaring off against “Survivor 44” challenge beast Frannie Marin in the “Survivor” Power Rankings! That too is available on my YouTube Channel.
So, don’t miss a thing. Follow me here, follow me on YouTube, on X, etc…
Alright, buckle up for ninety minutes of “Survivor!”
We kick things off with three (count ‘em!) three boats racing through the Fijian waters.
First we meet Drew who claims to be one of the smartest people to ever be on the show. Umm…I don’t know if you know this, Drew, but somebody once made a cellphone out of a coconut. So…
Katurah is up next, she smartly points out that being viewed as being strategic is a liability. Also, claiming to be the smartest player ever doesn’t win you points.
She also says she’s not going to tell anyone she’s a lawyer. I want a season of all lawyers, just cause it’d be fun to see how many fake jobs they can come up with.
Emily is third, she’s a goal-driven person who doesn’t care about the experience. If she isn’t going to win, she wants to be voted off first. Yeah, but there is more prize money the further you go.
Jake bats cleanup and he is an attorney who lives with his grandmother. He intends to tell everyone that he’s a balloon animal artist. (Just kidding, he's just gonna be a lawyer.)
Sifu is your typical tai-chi master/musician. That’s how it starts, then you become Coach.
(Just kidding, I love Coach.)
And then we get rapid-fire comments! Sean is there to reclaim lost time from when he was trying to be someone who he wasn’t. Kellie wants to prove that nurses aren’t all nice. And Dee is gonna play like it’s her only chance, because it is her only chance.
Wait, isn’t Bruce back?
Anywho, JPro is standing on a big ol’ barge and he invites us all to the party.
39 26 Days, 18 Players, 1 “Survivor” Blog
Let's take a look at the tribes as they currently stand...
The Belo Tribe (wearing blue)
Brando, 23 - Software Developer
Bruce, 47 - Insurance Agent
Jake, 26 - Attorney
Katurah, 35 - Civil Right Attorney
Kellie, 29 - Critical Care Nurse
Kendra, 31 - Bartender
The Lulu Tribe (wearing yellow)
Brandon, 26 - Content Producer
Emily, 28 - Investment Analyst
Hannah, 33 - Therapist
Kaleb, 29 - Software Sales
Sabiyah, 28 - Truck Driver
Sean, 35 - School Principal
The Reba Tribe (wearing red)
Austin, 26 - Grad Student
Dee, 26 - Entrepreneur
Drew, 23 - Grad Student
J. Maya, 24 - Singer
Julie, 49 - Estate Attorney
Sifu, 30 - Gym Owner
The trio of teams join Probst on the big barge. Brandon, who is a looooong time “Survivor” fanatic breaks down a bit because of how overwhelming it all is. (And believe me, when you get a look at all the cameras and crew that go into this adventure, it can blow your mind.)
Probst also welcomes Bruce back onto the show and reminds everyone of the injury that took him out 12 hours into “Survivor 44.”
Quick Aside: If I’m Bruce, and I’m not getting a good feel for my tribe? I’d just bonk myself again. Give it another go at “Survivor 46.”
Bruce claims to be just like the other players, but Emily calls him out and says that his short time on the show is an advantage. And she’s not wrong. Once again, being out there and seeing the gigantic production that it is, does give you a bit of an advantage.
That being said, I wouldn’t start the game calling someone out over something so minor.
Opening Challenge: Two players from each tribe will race to empty a crate filled with rope and sandbags. Then the next pair will jump off the barge, retrieve a row boat and return to the first barge. The final two players will then use poles to retrieve their tribe’s flint. That tribe will receive their supplies, the other tribes will have to get their supplies another way.
Result: Reba wins the challenge. Brandon struggled to climb a ladder and cost his team the lead. In fact, Brandon is asked to stay behind so medical can check him out.
Also, it looks like we’re getting Sweat vs. Savvy again for the supplies. Sabiyah and Kaleb will go for Lulu while Brando and Jake will participate for Belo.
At Reba Beach
As the team arrives at their tribe flag, J. Maya notices that their are some odd characters inscribed above and under the tribe’s name.
During the tribe introductions, Julie tells everyone that she’s an art instructor when she’s really…and say it with me…a lawyer.
Drew’s also a sneaky lil’ sneak as he claims that there he has two personalities; Drew who is moody and BASILE who is fun-loving.
So…that’s unique? Don’t we all have our different sides? Maybe we don’t all name them?
At Belo Beach
Bruce must be so psyched. He’s so ahead of his game last time. And part of this new game is that he isn’t the dad, he’s drunk uncle Bruce.
He then immediately contradicts that persona by shooting down Kendra’s idea to weave some palm fronds.
Although, every former player says weaving palm fronds is a waste of time.
In other news, Kendra is super into astrology. She surmises that Bruce is a Leo because he wants to be in charge. Well, I’m a Leo and I never want to be in charge.
At Lulu Beach
Emily immediately throws shade on Sabiyah and Kaleb because they volunteered to do the challenge without consulting the tribe. She’s just making friends left and right.
Fortunately, Brandon returns to the beach and he seems to be OK.
Sean wonders where the shelter supplies are. All around you, buddy!
Sweat and Savvy Challenge: This challenge will be head to head. First, they’ll move 40 heavy logs across the beach. Then, they’ll have to remove a flint that is tied around a metal structure. The first tribe to free their flint within the time limit will win supplies. The losers will return empty handed. If neither tribe completes the puzzle within the time limit, both will return home with nothing.
Quick Aside: I love having this be head to head.
Another Quick Aside: Probst isn’t here to call the action. How are we going to know what’s going on?!
Result: Lulu gets to the flint puzzle first, but it’s complicated enough that you can’t do it quickly. Time expires and both teams lose.
Another Quick Aside: With no other cast members around, that quartet should have been figuring out a cross-tribe alliance.
When Kaleb and Sabiyah break the news to Lulu, Emily immediately thinks they exchanged the supplies for some kind of advantage. That’s the narrative I’d be pushing…
At Belo Beach
It looks like we’ve got a female alliance taking shape on the blue tribe. And Kendra is super psyched that they all have September birthdays.
Fun Fact: Parvati Shallow always bases her alliances on birthday compatibility. OK, that’s a lie.
Kendra wants to target Jake first because he’s a lawyer, which is concerning to Katurah because…she’s also a secret lawyer!
Seriously, how’d we end up with all these lawyers? Were they just passing out “Survivor” applications outside of the bar exam?
At Lulu Beach
It looks like Brandon and Hannah are able to bond over how rough the show actually is. It ain’t a pillow fight, folks. Except for that one time it was.
Sabiyah thinks that Emily is way too negative. And, Sean let’s Kaleb know that Emily thinks they got an advantage at the challenge.
At Reba Beach
Sifu is off on an idol hunt, he’s pretty sure nobody knows what he’s doing, but everybody definitely knows.
He claims to be playing a game like Tony Vlachos and the other members of his tribe think he’s playing a Tony Vlachos game. Well, your opponents knowing exactly what you’re up to is certainly not a Tony Vlachos game.
They also totally catch him spying on them from his Sifu Shack.
I know Tony Vlachos, Tony Vlachos is a friend of mine. Sifu, you’re no Tony Vlachos.
But maybe the Austin is the real Tony because he finds a Beware Advantage. He cracks it open and is told he will receive an immunity idol if he completes a series of tasks. But until he completes the tasks, he won’t be able to vote at Tribal Council.
The first task is to decipher the coded message that J. Maya first noticed on their tribe flag pole.
Immunity Challenge Time: One player at a time will race up and over a ramp and into a mud pit. Then they’ll drag a net full of coconuts over a log. From there, two players will shoot the coconuts into a hoop and release a set of keys. They’ll work together to get everyone to the top of a tall tower. Two other players will have to unlock and then solve a puzzle. The first two tribes to complete the puzzle will win immunity.
Quick Aside: Belo and Lulu will get their supplies after the challenge, but if one of them loses, Probst will keep their flint.
Result: Brando and Kellie managed to come from behind to take the win for Belo with Reba taking second. In fact, Lulu was so behind, Probst tried to find a bright side by saying that Lulu’s win was being able to get up the wall.
Quick Aside: Ooof… Brandon wiped out during the wall portion and it looked like he wasn’t going to get back up. But he made it happen.
Pre-Tribal Politicking
Some really weird vibes coming out of the challenge as Brandon feels bad about having to vote for someone who performed better than him in the challenge and Hannah is hoping she’ll be the one to go.
In fact, Hannah is so ready to go, that she has to figure out how to get people to target her instead of Emily. Fortunately, Brandon manages to talk her out of this move.
Buuut…Brandon is really hurting. Apparently he suffers from reflux and it’s really taking it out of him.
Brandon weirdly tells Sabiyah and Kaleb that he’s going to play his Shot in the Dark, which is news to her because she thought everyone had been planning to get rid of Emily. Kaleb makes a great point that Brandon making that call shows that he doesn’t trust them. So, they decide to vote for Brandon with Emily being the back-up vote.
Meanwhile, Emily is making the pitch that Sabiyah and Kaleb are too strong of a pair.
Brandon fills Kaleb in on this development. But, it wasn’t like Kaleb was a big Emily fan to begin with.
Tribal Time
Emily calls out Kaleb and Sabiyah as the people who think they’re running the show. Sabiyah counters that they didn’t ask for that role, and if that’s how they view them, that says more about Emily.
Brandon makes the pitch that he isn’t good at challenges, but he is good at comforting people. Which is useful to have someone comfort after he costs you a challenge.
Oof…now Hannah is making the pitch that she wants to eliminated. She even goes so far as to say that she doesn’t need to be voted out to leave the game.
Probst asks if the tribe is all on the same page and willing to send Hannah home, and they all agree.
The first person eliminated from “Survivor 45” is Hannah.
Verdict: Well, that was anti-climatic. But, I don’t hate quitters as much as some people do. I think they help get across the point that “Survivor” is the real deal and not everyone is built for this kind of adventure.
That being said, I didn’t get to know as many people as I wanted. Can’t wait till next week!
Winner Pick: Gah…I feel like I didn’t get to see enough of everyone…but…I’m going with…Katurah.
A-: Kendra, Kellie, and Katurah - Maybe the same birth month is a silly reason to start an alliance. But hey, you gotta start somewhere.
A-: Austin: You don’t have a vote, but you’re never going to have to go to Tribal as long as Lulu is around.
B: Kaleb and Sabiyah - This duo was put into a lot of rough situations between losing Sweat and Savvy and being on arguably the least physical tribe of all time. But, they defended themselves well and it’s clear that Brandon and Sean are comfortable enough to give them information.
C: Sifu - There is nowhere to hide in a six-person tribe. Your hi-jinx are just putting a target on your back.
C: Bruce - The debate with Emily wasn’t a big deal for Bruce. The way he immediately caught the constellation collective’s ire is. One thing “Survivor” players will tell you is; it’s hard to be someone you’re not out there.
C-: Brandon - People can overlook poor challenge performance for a while, but what was the deal with threatening to use your Shot in the Dark?
D: Emily - I can’t think of a worse way to introduce yourself to your cast then by calling somebody out for something so minor. Which is a shame, because I think she has potential to be an awesome player.
F-: Jake - You told them you’re a lawyer?! There’s no greater “Survivor” sin!
Incomplete: Sean, Drew, Dee, J. Maya, Brando, and Julie - I can’t give you a grade if you don’t show your work.
Welp, that’s it! Check out my exit interview with Hannah on YouTube tomorrow. And, this Monday don’t miss the first round of the “Survivor” Power Rankings as I square off against Frannie Marin!